UK Lockdown: Day 295

A new chair, a stressy Becky, a cuddly cat, a rainy day, a lovely ending to a weird and freaky day.

I’ve been overthinking lockdown for over a week. When will it end? Will I ever get a job that’s workable during these lockdowns (because I can’t stand being off work)? Will lockdown be forever? Will we ever all have the vaccine? Is this new life? Am I freaking out?

Well, yes, I am freaking out. Because clapping for the NHS has got us nowhere. Because this has gone on for 10 months now, and that’s 8 months too long. For sure. Because if we’d just had a proper lockdown in the first place we wouldn’t be here now. Because if we hadn’t opened places up too early, done EOHO, opened sporting events etc, we might not be in this stupid situation now.

The only positive is that some people have had the vaccine, and hopefully it will be given to many more very quickly. I. AM. DESPERATE. For some normality. To see my brother, sister, Grandad and uncle. Seeing your family should be a basic human right, but, you know, it isn’t. Apparently.

Anyway, after sobbing away a large percentage of my day and feeling VERY low. I am looking at the positives of the day.

We finally got our new cosy armchair today after it was delivered to my old address…. definitely my fault, but the new tenant could have said it wasn’t hers…

Luke and I had a wander around the abandoned LUBS campus, to help me get my bearings for when I’m finally allowed to start my new job *facepalm*. This was suggested to me and is fully legal because there’s no one on site and I was only browsing the outside of the buildings.

Then, this evening I’ve had dinner at my mums and a lovely catch-up and reflection that things will improve, not overnight, but soon. My mum is a truly wonderful woman and I can’t thank her enough for her support and love over the years. Today and always.

How are you doing in this Lockdown 3.0? Make sure you talk out your feelings. It’s okay to not be okay. And I’m not saying you have to be diagnosed with something to know you’re not okay. I wasn’t okay today. But I might be tomorrow.

Be kind to yourself.

If you want to curl up in a ball on a blanket, the girls say that’s okay too!

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